Kuchen (Cake)

Kuchen is something very sacred to Germans. In my research group, it's basically required to bring cake on special occasions. There is an Einstandskuchen (when you start in the group), a Geburtstagskuchen (birthday cake), and an Abschiedskuchen (farewell cake). There are about 25 people in the group and although at most 10 people regularly come to coffee break, everyone comes when there is cake. So you have to provide a lot of cake. When one does not bring cake, it is frowned upon. When one brings store-brought cake, it is acceptable, but "es wird nicht gerne gesehen." Store-bought cake is brought mostly by foreigners (the ones who can't speak German) and boys whose mothers don't live nearby/refuse to help them. There is a lot of pressure to bring cake that tastes good.

I enjoy a good cake as much as the next girl, but Germans take cake eating to a whole new level. I'm really not sure how they eat as much cake as they do. I'd say that group members average about three pieces of cake at such an event.

Today I bake my Abschiedskuchen--my leaving cakes. There is so much pressure. Last time, for my birthday, I made Paula Deen's Southwest Georgia Pound Cake and Pineapple Marzipan Cake. It was someone else's last day that day and she also brought cake (store bought), so I am nervous that there won't be enough cake, as there were not toooo many leftovers last time. I'm planning on making cranberry cheesecake to use up the can of cranberry sauce I forgot about at Thanksgiving, as well as Nusskuchen (nut cake). I think this will not be enough, so I'm planning on making something from a mix or picking up one cake from the bakery. I think I will go with the mix option, so I can pass it off as my own.

I have much to document and I promise to try to catch up before I jet off (or ICE off) to Berlin this weekend. I will not fulfill this promise.

Hochzeit

I went back to the America last week to see my little brother get hitched. It was pretty awesome. I'm looking forward to my permanent return in just 36 days.

Here are the highlights of my trip:
1. Doing a shot with my brother on the DL when old people were around.
2. Drinking beers with the Train and Geoffrey after I'd been awake for 23 hours.
3. Going to Cedar Point.


4. The Train leading the Love Train and his generally sweet dance moves. I need to get married ASAP to see these moves again, as well as for the $$$ and gifts (and possibly for love)

5. My mom getting a wedding makeover.

6. Geoff finally tying the knot. I didn't lose a brother, I gained a sister.

Not going to lie, they are pretty attractive.

Spargelzeit and other random things.

This time of the year is Spargelzeit (asparagus season) in Germany. The Germans seems to bizarrely obsessed with spargel in the short time it's available. It started to make it's appearance in April and will be exiting the German culinary stage on 24. June. I guess it is the law that no Spargel be sold after that, or maybe there is just no Spargel left. The Germans like their Spargel white, although they also eat the green variety. I have eaten Spargel three times this week--a cold Spargel salad at the Hofbräuhaus in Munich (more about various trips I've recently taken to come in a later post), green Spargel and sundried tomatoes with pasta that my roommate made, and then my roommate's family's traditional way to eat Spargel--roasted in little packets in the oven with butter, salt and pepper, and then potatoes, smoked ham and parmesan cheese all over it. Delicious. My pee is now back to smelling normal.

It is also strawberry time. A man just walked down my street ringing a bell, calling "frische deutsche Erdbeeren, 2 Euro." He said the part about the strawberries in a singsong voice and the 2 Euro very ... if you know what that means, so listening to him was like listening to cheerleaders or a chant or something. I looked out and he didn't have any strawberries with him, so I was confused and didn't go down to buy some. Maybe next time a random man is selling strawberries...


And maybe it is also renovation time. The building next door to my apartment building is apparently being renovated. As is typical here, the two buildings are right on top of each other, so my bedroom wall is right next to the wall of this other building. Apparently they are tearing the other wall down. For a few days, I was woken up by drilling that was so loud that Seeja (my roommate) and I both has the feeling there would be a hole in our respective walls at any time. She asked them today when they would be done and apparently it will be in November, but they won't always be making so much noise they say. Today I was woken up by sawing. Today is a Saturday. Yes, they will also be working Saturdays.

Seeja's parents are visiting from Hamburg and are very nice. North Germans have a reputation for being unfriendly, but oddly the Norddeutschen I've met (okay, less than 10, so hardly a statistically reliable sample) have been some of the friendliest people I've met here. When I was in Hamburg, people seemed to be just as (un)friendly as the Rheinländer, and sometimes even friendlier. Anyways, Seeja's parents (who by the way are named Burkhard and Birgit--does it get any Deutscher?!) brought lots of food and wine with them. I remember Claudia's parents doing the same (and her mother actually cooking all the meals during their stay). My parents never brought me food when they visited. Americans, do you think this is a German thing, or are my parents just lame (sorry, mom and dad.)?

Parteien (Political parties)

Since writing my last post on the elections, I've learned that this not just any election year in the Schland. This is a Superwahljahr (super election year). The use of the word super is the Spiegel Online's, not mine, although I have a tendency to overuse the word super. The election for the European Parliament is at the beginning of June, and elections for local, state and federal governments come later.

I've also become aware of the existence of interesting fringe parties. One of my new favorites is the Bayernpartei, a party that is fighting for the independence of Bavaria. Unlike the Alaskan Independence Party, for example, the Bayern party is smart--they are fighting the battle on both fronts, it seems, sending the Bavarians the message that they are better than the rest of Germany and pay too much in taxes, while sending the rest of Germany the message that the Bavarians aren't real Germans, they're more like Austrians, and you've always been annoyed by them anyways, so just get rid of them.

"Don't you want to get rid of the Bavarians too? Then vote the Bayern party. For a Germany without Bavaria." I love the image of the stereotypical Bavarian pair striding into a future that doesn't include Germany.

Other parties include:

• the Grey Panthers, a party for senior citizens who I think have become nonexistent after one of their leaders died or had health problems
• the Anarchist Pogo Party of Germany who stand for the Restupidification of Germany, bribed people to vote by giving them beer, and wear shirts that say "Arbeit ist Scheiße" (work is sh*t)
• the Violets (Die Violetten)--a new-age party that stands for "spiritual politics."

There are of course your normal, middle left, middle right, left, right parties, but they are boring. There are also some Neo-Nazi parties, but there's too much infighting for them to actually get together and form a united front. Also, when they have rallies, there are probably about 50-100 people demonstrating against the Neo-Nazis for every Nazi there. Good job learning from history, Germans.

Der Supermarkt

You know the discount supermarket chains in America that not too many people shop at because you have to buy a bag and leave a deposit for a cart and everything's displayed in the cut-open boxes it came in and there are bizarrely named generics? Sav-a-Lot, Aldi (a German export), Price Chopper, etc.? Well, that's what the majority of grocery stores in Germany are like. Also, German grocery stores are like Marc's (for you NE Ohioans) or Acme Surplus/Deals and Steals (for you W Massholes), in that they have some totally random crap, but usually not the random crap that you need.

Here are some annoying/weird things about grocery shopping in the 'Schland (yes, I sometimes refer to Germany as the Schland):

1. Einsperrung! If you go to your local Plus and they don't have what you need (which is somewhat likely), you can't get out. The German supermarket industry is apparently concerned about theft and has installed turnstiles at the entrances to all grocery stores. The only way to get out is squeeze your way out through the giant line (see 2) at the cashier.

2. Schlange! There is always a really long line, especially at the grocery store I stop at on my way home (probably because every other student is also stopping there on the way home). There have to be about 15 people in line before they bother to open a new one, even though there are a lot of employees who appear to be doing nothing. (Update: yesterday, I counted as I waited in line and there were 21 people in front of me and a few behind me before they opened a second line. I don't think I'm asking too much here.)

3. Eklig! The produce isn't always of ideal quality. Sometimes they run out of really normal things. Last week there was no garlic. Once I heard someone ask the cashier if there were any more apples and the cashier replied that they'd get more the next day. It was 11 am. How can you already be out of apples at 11 am? Today I wanted to make a nice tasty salad with lots of vegetables, but they were out of lettuce. Okay, they had a few sad heads of iceberg, but that's not lettuce. That's tasteless green something pretending to be lettuce.

4. Bizarre produce prices. Last week kiwis (I LOVE kiwis!) were being sold for 0.33 Euro a piece. I was going to buy 3, so that would come out to about a euro. Then I saw the box of kiwis for 1.29. I counted the kiwis-12! So 3 kiwis for 99 cents or 9 more kiwis for 30 cents more. I went for the box and we're still working our way through.

5. Generic names. Trendy Cola? Choco Ole brand Nutella ripoff? Other store brand names include "Ja!," "A & P" (Attractiv und preiswert--attractive and well priced), and "Gut und Günstig" (good and low priced). I feel like these names are really dumb. And if you're going to basically name your store brand "Cheapo brand that still tastes okay," you should just not name your store brand. Just label things with what they are. Milk. Flour. Sugar. That's good enough.

6. Geschlossen! Grocery stores, along with all other stores in Germany, are closed on Sundays. I'm pretty much over this one, but sometimes it still annoys me.

7. Pfand! Germans are all about the deposit system. The deposits here are larger than the ones in Massachusetts or other states that have the deposit system, so people actually bring the bottles back, which is good. Having to carry the water bottles back is not as good. And the cashier seems especially unhappy when she has to count them.

Lügen (Lies)

There are some lies that people told me about Germany while I was still in the States. These lies have really confused me or caused me pain (by which I mean, inconvenience) in some way. I would like to share them with you all.

1. Germans always look nice and do not wear jeans. This is not true. Although I would say that German students (the main group of people I deal with) are on average more fashion-conscious than at least Smith College students, they definitely wear jeans. Pretty much all the time, in fact. This Germans wear business casual and not jeans lie caused me to waste room in my suitcase with business casual type clothes that I've never or hardly worn.

2. German keys turn the other way in locks. People told me this and I was worried. They were all like, "Be sure you know, you have to turn the key the other way." So at first I was careful to turn the key the other way. But the keys turn the same way as they do in American locks and I was really confused. I think my lock in Marburg was also somehow sticky, so I would turn in the wrong way, and then the right way, and then the wrong way, and not really remember what I finally did to make it open. But after a few days, I got used to things being the way they should be with respect to locks.

3. You always have to weigh your produce in German grocery stores. Sometimes you do, but mostly not, I would say. This made me terrified of buying produce for my first few weeks in Germany. Or, I would creep around the produce section trying to see what the Germans did. And then I'd get scared and run away.

Okay, those are all the lies I can think of for now. Shame on you people who tell these lies.

Now lie Number 4: Told to me by certain member of the Shea lab who shall remain anonymous, but who is now in grad school at UC Irvine. Europeans don't wear nail polish. Not even on toenails, she said. So I didn't bring my nail polish to paint my toenails in summer. But people DO wear nail polish, so I now I'm probably going to have to buy more.