Here is a list of the weird things Germans like:
1. Homöopathie--homeopathy.
Homeopathy is apparently very popular in rural North Rhine-Westfalia. If you're not sure what homeopathy is, let me fill you in on some of the details. Homeopaths believe that when a sick person takes a substance that induces the symptoms of their sickness in a healthy person, the symptons will go away. So for example, if I take something and it gives me headaches, that medicine would be perfect for someone who already has headaches. What is weirder is that when less of a substance is ingested, the healing effects are stronger. Homeopathy has the strongest effects when it is so diluted that there is literally nothing left of the substance in the dose. WHA?!? Hitting the bottle the remedy is in also somehow varies the potency. There is no chemical explanation.
Even the animals get homeopathic treatments around here. The arme Katze (poor cat) has homeopathic remedies forced down her throat with a syringe. We are going to go live under the bridge together.
I have what I call my Homöopathie Gesicht--homeopathy face--which I make as I observe the preparation of homeopathic remedies. You are not allowed to think bad thoughts as you take your homeopathic remedy--that's smirkworthy, oder? I thought medicine worked because the small molecules interacted with various enzymes...but maybe things are different in Germany..
2. Kopfkratzers--head scratching instruments
So head scratching devices are not THAT bizarre. We probably have them in Amerika too. But this picture from the packaging and ads for the Bokoma original Kopfkratzer is just bizarre.a. The thing's barely touching her head. b. That is one of the most fake facial expressions I have ever seen.
Also bizarre is the fact that last night there was a box of ten Kopfkratzers sitting on the dining room floor, so that many Germans (and a few Dutch) can receive them for Christmas, further perpetuating the weirdness.
3. Reden mit Tieren--talking to animals
Something Claudia brought to my attention on my first day here was how much they talk to the pets. At first, I thought, "Okay, everyone talks to pets a little bit. That's not TOOO weird..." But I underestimated how much the Germans talk to their pets. It is a lot. I do not understand what the animals say...maybe they are speaking Cat German (Kateutsch...as incomprehensible as Bayerisch or Kölsch), but Roger and Claudia seem to have meaningful discussions with the animals.
4. Spiele--games (weird games, obvi)
Germans aren't serious and mean all the time. It's surprising, but sometimes they even laugh, smile, or play games. They even have a word for joke (der Witz). Who knew? When Germans play games, they are weird (they being both the games and the Germans). Zum Beispiel: Es war einmal... Once Upon a Time, a game where you have to tell a fairy tale with cards. Actually the game is not that weird. I was just grumpy because they made me speak German (I'd rather speak Denglisch...eine Sprache that I've totally beherrsched...a language I've totally mastered.) and also because I didn't win. I like to win.
Obviously Americans do weird things, too, like eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, answer the phone by saying hello, and sing songs with German prepositions. If you'd like to read about the weird things I do, check out Claudia's blog, Host Family.
